Handling the Unknowns

I check my iPod for new moves on Words with Friends. I am beating my sister. She complains about it, but secretly I know if she is going to lose, she wants to lose to her big sister.
It’s the sibling hierarchy…

I check my social media, and nothing of interest is occurring. What am I expecting, anyway? For my neighbor to announce a tornado near her home?

I begin to consider this distracted behavior… but I stop, deciding to clean house instead, visit the garden, talk with the dogs, check everything again… anything.

It’s the fear.

The fear of what, or of what not, more appropriately.

It’s not ravenous, it’s not all-consuming, but it’s there, and my heart and soul simply have no space for it.

And just when I begin to give it attention, the very thing it craves, I go outside, to drive with my husband.

South Dakota country

I am reminded of my smallness once again. Of fear’s mission for us all.

South Dakota country

A mission to distract one from seeing…

South Dakota country

from wondering, imagining, delighting…

South Dakota country

of experiencing and sensing, living right now…

South Dakota farm

on wanting to make life all about me.

South Dakota farm

It occurs to me a few hours have passed by, and my husband takes my hand and smiles.

I look back outside, for what I don’t know.

Fear has tucked its tail down, has left.

I am released.

And I smile back.

South Dakota country

My heart is filled.

Advertisements

44 thoughts on “Handling the Unknowns

  1. This is a beautiful post as always. I don’t think I have words to describe how beautiful I think your last picture is. It seems so serene, so peaceful and yet gives me a feeling of longing. It is a stunning view and a truly beautifully taken picture.

  2. I like how you captured that feeling… the thing that creeps in from the stillness. I never know quite what it is or how to silence it. I’ve found that the more I try to drown it out with those distractions you mentioned, the louder it gets. Great post. I like how you think.

  3. You have the best coping tools you could ask for, the love of your husband, your appreciation of what the Lord has blessed you with, the heart to appreciate it, the strength to put it all in perspective. The pictures make it tangible for me. God bless and continued peace.

  4. I LOVE everything about this blog…my umpire is gone off on another assignment and I have been anxious! Reading your blog made me relax just thinking about doing just what you’re doing – with my hunny….he’s my calm!! Now this blog may be! πŸ˜‰ haha LOVE the pictures…..:)

  5. This is wonderful. Sometimes fear has such a tight grip, stepping outside is a challenge. Good for you for walking outside and seeing the real world. The big and beautiful real world.

  6. Your words are a breath of fresh air. And your photos give me breathing space. Sometimes I need just that small space. Thank you!

  7. Absolutely beautiful! Words and pictures. I have been feeling this way all day, all week in fact — the need to disconnect from devices and insignificant fluff and reconnect to things that matter. (Does this not count as my “nature fix” since I saw it on a blog?)

  8. It’s scary how we’ve become so reliant on technology and the web. I do the same thing where I wonder why people aren’t on Facebook or commenting on blogs. Yet I have to admit that going a day without the constant internet distractions is kinda nice. Guess I’ll have to find the happy medium.

  9. I hope your writing helps you cope with the isolation and loneliness of life on a farm. I hope you get the odd city break with girlfriends, sisters etc. and can then enjoy coming home to your man and life. I find your words poignant and a bit sad but beautiful – thank you

    • “That’s “‘make'” Stephen, not “‘makes!'” Jeez. Pick up a book on grammar and read it for Chri#t sake. —Michael

      “I know that, Michael, it was just a typo and a too-quick press of the “‘send'” button.”

      “Well, Stephen, proofread your comments better.”

      “OK, Michael, you’re right, but you should just relax a little. Cut down on the caffeine or something.”

      “Hmmph.”

  10. Pingback: Quick! What makes YOU smile? « The Simple Life of a Country Man's Wife

  11. Kind of know what ya mean anticipation keeps me checking, helps with staying in touch on line though so don’t mind doing my e-chores. I would rather be about taking in the natural visuals upclose and personal nothing like nature to take us outside of ourself, the gift of sharing it all with another well that’s just about like icing on cake. Thanks for sharing such wonderful scenery with words for the soul too. Have a good 11-11-11(“-“)

  12. Pingback: Why do I blog? Why do you? « The Simple Life of a Country Man's Wife

Share your thoughts

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s