This is Bessy the Cow, reporting live from my South Dakota farm.
The living is good here, but today sure was a cold one. I guess a girl gets use to that, though.
Besides the cold to concern me, the lady who occupies this place keeps talking to me, and I’m a bit worried about her mental health. Me and the other cows, we think she’s off her rocker, if you know what I mean.
Really, it’s not that she talks to me so much as how she does it. She walks up real slow with that flashy contraption in her hand, smiles, and her eyes get all big, like a hungry man being handed his steak. You see why it disturbs me?
Overall, she’s not so bad. Farm life isn’t so bad, either.
Anyway, enough of her. You’re probably wanting to know more about my day. Well, life as a cow is rather easy. On a busy day you’ll find me chasing coyotes and smaller annoying carnivores, and on a normal day I prefer to stand in the same area grazing. This is stereotypical, I realize, but true.
Sometimes I do try to go outside the box, to challenge the social norms that restrict me, but rarely I do. I find these social expectations safe. My friend Norma, however, is a different story. Would you like to see?
She’s crazy, that Norma! Not only did she break out of her pasture and walk right into the woman’s garden spot, but she made cow chips while the lady looked on with the flashy contraption! And then went to on to bellow out all kinds of profanities!
Oh my, Norma is a wild one. She’s what they call “anti-social”… “passive-aggressive”… “unpredictable”…
Well, this is all I have for today. I hope your December is going well. If the lady asks me to write again, I will!
Bessy the Cow